Seams Plausible: Order Your Jeans Raw

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A semi-regular column answering
questions about clothing.

 

 

Reader Eric T. writes in to ask, “What’s up with jeans made from ‘raw’ denim?”

Buying jeans can present quite a challenge, Eric! To help out, here’s another chapter in our series, “The Fascinating World of Really Expensive Denim.”

“Raw” denim is denim that has not been broiled, baked, or lightly battered and fried. It’s the kind of denim the pioneers wore because they didn’t have time to cook their jeans before wearing them because they were too busy JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

But with the emergence of the raw denim movement, the goal is to treat your jeans much like the pioneers did. Here’s how:

“Raw” denim requires extra care so it doesn’t “spoil.” But it’s worth it! So don’t put raw denim jeans in the washing machine. The pioneers didn’t have time to put their jeans in the washing machine because they were too busy JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

But what about bacteria? If you want to keep your raw denim “fresh,” put jeans in the freezer between wearings. Never put your frozen jeans in the microwave on the “defrost” setting before wearing. The pioneers didn’t have time to put their jeans in the microwave on the “defrost” setting because they were too busy JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

Lastly, when the time does come to wash your jeans (Six months? A year? You’ll know when, because the people around you will tell you it’s time to wash your jeans) soak them in the tub. Then be sure to put them on while they’re still slightly damp and let them dry on your body for a uniquely “personalized” fit. Do not put your jeans in the dryer after soaking. The pioneers didn’t have time to put their jeans in the dryer because they were too busy JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll find that your raw denim jeans are worth the extra care because they’ll be uniquely yours and yours alone – and don’t really require any more time, effort or attention than a brand new puppy.

Be sure to post pix on Instagram showing the great whiskering your jeans are developing; update your Facebook page with the latest on your jeans; and when you get together with friends, tell them all about what you did this weekend to take care of your raw denim jeans. It’ll be fun for everyone – and it’s just what the pioneers would have done if they hadn’t been so busy JUST TRYING TO STAY ALIVE.

You’re welcome.

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