A semi-regular column answering
questions about clothing.
Reader Rob S. writes in to ask, “Bob, should I tuck in my shirt at the office, or is it ok to wear it untucked?”
As we all know, a shirt has essentially three tails: two in front and one in back. This means there are four identifiable “tucks,” which I have named for the sake our discussion.
The Traditionalist: all shirttails are tucked into the waistband of the pants.
The Rebel: all shirttails are not tucked.
The Mulleteer™: front shirttails are tucked, rear tail is un-tucked for a “business in the front, party in the back” look.
The Hipster: only one front tail is tucked, exposing one hip; rear tail is un-tucked.
“Reading the shirt tails” (a skill you can easily master) allows you to deduce the wearer’s mood that day:
The Traditionalist feels in control; nothing will stand in his way. He’s tucked!
The Rebel doesn’t care what you’re thinking; he believes you’re lucky he even showed up today.
The Mulleteer™ wants to please everyone and won’t take a stand one way or the other for fear of offending somebody. But as George Allison (my high school history teacher) said just before he threw the blackboard eraser at “Swan” Nelson’s head (“Swan” had a long neck) “You can’t please everyone, so you better keep me happy or I’ll flunk you. Now shaddup.”
The Hipster thinks he’s cool and wants you to think he’s cool, too. (Spoiler alert: he’s not really all that cool. Even “ironically.”)
Rob, I suggest you project confidence and take control: tuck yourself. And if anyone gives you a hard time, tell them to go tuck themselves.
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