Seams Plausible: The Sockless Phenomenon



A semi-regular column answering
questions about clothing.

“The world can be divided into two groups: those who divide the world into two groups, and those who do not.” That’s what humorist Robert Benchley said. At least I think it was Benchley, but it could have been my barber and he may have been talking about people who don’t leave large tips.

Either way, who wears socks anymore? According to a quick survey of feet in my office, the answer is about half the people in my immediate area.

Apparently, “no socks” is all the rage, and men here routinely go without while wearing expensive dress shoes and too short pants in order to show off their hairy ankles – which in some cases are so overgrown that it’s hard to tell they’re going without socks.

In the name of scientific research, I asked a few guys why they were sock-free. Their “completely unedited” answers were:

“I like the way these shoes feel without socks.”

“I like the way these shoes look when I don’t wear socks.”

“I like cake.”

I’ll bet the first guy who went sockless must have taken a lot of flack. “Hey Bill, at least you remembered to put on your pants.” “Problem with athlete’s foot, Bill?” “Hey, Bill, where are your socks?”  That sort of thing.

I wear socks. After a day without socks, the inside of my shoe smells like the gym locker of the guy next to me in seventh grade who never washed his shorts.

And I like the way my feet feel in socks – like they’re getting an all-day hug. Plus, we sell socks and I think it would be great if everyone bought more socks from us.

So when the world is divided into no-socks and sock-wearers, count me among the socked.

You’re welcome.

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