5 Fish Tales



On July 11th the Sci-Fi Channel’s movie Sharknado terrorized viewers as they vacuumed, hurling sharks at Los Angeles with hurricane force winds. We’ve applied our nautical heritage to contemplate other marine life that could someday create The Perfect Fishstorm.

SPLATYPUS! – A hundred-year high tide sends thousands of Platypuses into the streets of Brisbane  at 40 miles per hour. Cleanup leaves the city with an unusually large bill.

WHOLLY MACKEREL – Pricey entrees described on the menus of chichi restaurants as Chilean Sea Bass are in fact entirely mackerel flown in from Miami. Watch for the 2014 sequel – Smackerel!

FISHTICKLER – Sent aloft by a tropical cyclone passing through Mrs. Pinter’s high school geometry class, breaded fish sticks from the cafeteria tickle kids taking the SAT.

GOLDFLUSH – Rainstorms cause a sewer backup to swallow pet goldfish from home aquariums, saving parents a lot of trouble later on.

CARPOOL – A rare Cincinnati whirlpool fills the rear seat of Bert Lawrence’s Mini Cooper with errant carp. “Carpe Diem,” exclaims Bert to his old chum.

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